A Great Way to Spend Your Days

MATH was particularly educational today. I learned from my fellow students that private schools are cheaters because they don't take state exams. I seem to have thought that was the whole point of a private school: choosing what to do?

Also, the state grades the algebra exam on a ridiculous curve so that everyone passes! And then they can say that all the kids are meeting graduation requirements!

In HOMEROOM, I learned that wearing a hood is both "offensive and rude". (When was the last time you saw somebody ream someone out for wearing a hood on the street?) Such detestable creatures, hoods are. The very sight of them pains sensitive souls! It was raining today, but kids need a sense of decorum! All hoods must be banned, regardless of weather and logic!

In HISTORY, I learned that South American independence movements happened, not because of the conditions faced by the poor, but because they were copying the Americans. Okay, yes, I'm sure it helped, but look: give people ideas, great, but take away their food and you've got a revolution.


This from the same people who write in your textbook that the students who protested in Tiananmen Square in 1989 carried a model of the statue of liberty. (Every culture really wants to be American, don't they?) It was called the Goddess of Democracy, and its creators specifically said it wasn't the statue of liberty. In reality, the statue happened to be based on a sculpture called "Worker and Kolkhoz Woman": a statue of a man and woman carrying a hammer and sickle. Whoops.