Cramming in the Learnin'

It's June and kids must earn two months of freedom to choose what they do each day with hard work. The faculty, in their infinite wisdom, have planned the school year to end with an inhuman amount of work. They call it "going out with a bang" and hope that the shrapnel blast will leave an imprint that survives the summer months. Afterall, we all know that kids don't do anything important with their free time and have such teeny brains that they will forget everything they have learned.

That is why we must stress redundancy in the Three Pillars (mediocrity, mundanity, and monotony). A belief in the Pillars is a belief in everything you are told. Preserve them at all costs.

Now, get back to work on that powerpoint presentation on anicent empires, the online science quiz, the research essay on Steinbeck, the lab report on titration, the English project on Ethan Frome, the write-up for every art project you've done this year, and the reflective paragraphs for your elective science class.